How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talkby Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, , Search Cheap Books, Discount Books, ISBN 0060741252

Customer Reviews:

I have recently discovered I am a shitty parent

I have recently discovered I am a shitty parent. Hehehe well maybe I am being a bit hard on myself but honestly I have discovered I am totally unprepared for being a teenager’s parent. Allow me to explain. A light switch seems to have been turned on about a month ago with respect to my oldest daughter’s attitude. She will be 13 in August. Well for the most part it has just been little things. When I am discussing (well more like lecturing I suppose) things with her younger sisters she would interrupt and dispute what I would be explaining. Or if I ask her to do some chore or other she would talk back to me. Well I generally have simply ignored these instances by simply chastising her with a “Don’t talk back” or “this doesn’t concern you”. I mean after all she is just a teenager right?? Rebellion is a normal part of growing up?? In the last couple of weeks she has recently made a new friend, a boy whom she has become very close to. She would speak with him on the phone from the time she would come home from school till we send her to bed. This of course had become concerning to a parent who has never gone though this stage in his daughters life and who’s daughter tends not to share anything with her parents. Attempts to speak with her about what is going on with her life only resulted in her shutting me out and her avoiding me. Everything had recently come to a boil last week when my daughter who is going to visit family over Easter break (A 14 hr drive from our home and her new friend) managed to get up enough guts to ask me if her new friend may join her. Well I was in shock and unfortunately spoke what was in my mind at that second which was “NO! NO! NOOO! You are not spending that much unsupervised time with any boy”. Well my daughter refused to talk to me again the rest of that evening. I thought she was simply upset at me for refusing to her request. Next day she was still slightly withdrawn toward me and admitted to me she was still slightly angry with me but she did seem to be getting over it. Two days after the original incident everything seemed back to normal. My daughter and I were talking again (though she still would not confide with me on what is happening in her life) and she no longer seemed to be angry with me. Well my second shock occurred on that day when she lashed out at me while joking with her. I received my first “Screw you Dad”. This occurrence has caused me to really think (my crime of joking around with her in no way deserved that kind of lashing). I ultimately went back to the evening I refused her request to have her friend tag along on the family visit. I finally realize my reaction to her request was horrible. I hurt her profoundly on that evening by inadvertently questioning her trust, and value system. I realized that I totally blew her trust in me on that night. Over the next two days I really did some soul searching and decided my communication skills were really lacking and went to audible.com and bought “How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk”. This book has improved my outlook right away with my daughter. I have listened to it three times already and have honestly seen improvements in my relationship with my daughter and her “attitude” seems to have improved. It my relationship with her isn’t where I have dreamed our relationship would be yet but it will take a while for me to change my communication skills and to regain her trust. Whether you are a parent or a teen get this book. It will not only help you improve a parent/teen relationship but your relationships with all people.

A frustrated father and even more frustrated daughter

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