We already get it.
|
By now I think most parents are aware that the minds of boys and girls are different and while it is good to know exactly how and why this can cause trouble if not properly understood, I'm already past that point and want to get more into proactive strategies to prevent possible trouble from arising, and/or correct minor problems already present before they get out of hand.
These authors have both worked with troubled youth and this book is basically a collection of stories of lost boys and what went wrong. I think most of us have already seen and heard enough of these stories, it's almost an epidemic in our society. So what do we do about it?
I couldn't get connected to this book. The writing style wasn't engaging enough and the authors weren't able to keep my interest even though I'm a very avid reader. Too much fill, not enough meat. The actual information provided in between all the fill was somewhat interesting though I found the majority of the book focused on the problems and there was very little information on active solutions.
If you want to understand a bit more about the minds of boys this is a decent read if you can get through it, it's a bit trying though. However, I'd recommend "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddulph for a much better read on the same topic. A lot less psycho babble, gets straight to the point, less examples of what happens when things go wrong, and more suggestions on how to prevent the trouble to begin with.
At the very least, get "Raising Boys" as an accompanying read to this book.
|
|
An Important Book About Boys ... who become Men
|
|
As I read this book about boys, much of it became more about the boy who becomes the man that he is today. This IS an amazing book, well written, and better yet, written by the very professional people who deal with boys and their troubles as counsellors, and in their practices. Each man can read about his own childhood in any one of the case studies. My favourites are:
The Culture of Cruelty or as another book said it, our Toxic Culture; We live in a modern culture where our heroes and role models are vague and fleeting. Our sports figures commit drug abuse, or adultery. The Media confronts us with disturbing images of war, sex, and banality. The Media drives us to consume all material goods. Against this backdrop, we must raise our sons. This is where a parents guidance throughout a boys life is necessary. Seeking the Big Impossible; Boys are groomed early to seek the perfect car, the perfect job, the perfect family, the Big Impossible. And when they fall short, the result is often withdrawal or depression. Boys are trained to seek and accumulate the impossible dream. Fathers and Sons, A Legacy of Distance and Desire; this chapter alone is worth it. Sons are always seeking an emotional connection with their fathers. Unfortunately, most fathers were and still are raised by fathers whom themselves are emotionally illiterate. Thus the great gulf of distance between fathers and sons. Romancing the Stone, from heartfelt to heartless relations with girls; This chapter so clearly explains why some boys can't love, you know anyone like that? As the author suggests, it's because boys who are raised emotionally illiterate, have trouble learning to love when they become men, thus moving from a heartfelt boy to heartless relationships with women. Give your son a break, teach him to be emotional literate, so when he grows up, he can have heartfelt relationships with other people. Read this book and you gain a better understanding about boys ... better yet, read this book and you'll gain a better understanding of the boy who became a man.
|
|
|
Awesome
|
An absolute must-read for ALL parents of both boys AND girls. Being a feminist, I had to keep reminding myself that when we take care of our boys we also take care of our girls. It has transformed the ways I look at my son and also my husband and other men in my life.
Along with Reviving Ophelia it should be mandatory reading for all parents!(...)
|
|
|
Invaluable insight about boys (and subsequently men)
|
|
Raising Cain is a powerful and enlightening book co-authored by two prominent child psychologists who set out to comprehensively explore the way boys suffer and what causes them emotional pain. Not surprisingly, the book is written for parents of boys as well as teachers, but it also has overwhelming relevance for anyone who desires to understand why many boys act the way they do-and what we can do to help them with their emotional struggles. The salient issue interlaced throughout the book is the need for boys to obtain an emotional vocabulary and emotional literacy that affords them the capability to read and understand their own emotions, as well as others. Thompson and Kindlon repeatedly point out that not only are many boys never encouraged to be emotional, but also, they are taught to suppress such feelings by a culture that expects them to be "manly". It is difficult to argue with that observation. The "emotional miseducation" of boys begins early, at home and in the classroom, and there is a need to provide the proper "emotional steering" for boys so that they understand that expressing emotion is indeed normal and okay to do. Among the various solutions Thompson and Kindlon suggest to help boys develop strong, flexible, emotional lives is to give them permission to have an internal life, full of unbridled emotion. We need to help them to develop and to obtain an emotional vocabulary to better understand themselves and to communicate more effectively with others. Ultimately, we need to let boys know that there are numerous ways to "be a man". Raising Cain is an extremely rich work, full of poignant case studies and examples of boys today that evoked memories-some sad and regretful-of my own adolescence. As a parent of two young boys and an aspiring middle school teacher, this book will be referred to again and again as various developmental issues surface in the boys that I encounter. It is an invaluable reminder of the importance of cultivating emotional awareness in boys and what we can do as adults to help foster that growth. I would even suggest that it be required reading for any educator who has even one boy in his or her classroom. The insight presented within Raising Cain as well as the intervention suggestions posed by Thompson and Kindlon offers the reader with the tools to make a positive difference in a boy's life.
|
|
|
Raising a boy? Know a man? This book is for you!
|
|
This book is valuable for everyone who has ever been or known a boy or man (okay, everyone). It addresses the needs and experiences of boys and men and how they relate to emotional literacy. It includes many real-life examples from the authors' practices. It discusses how societal stereotypes (and their enforcement in various social settings) hinder boys in their ability to be happy, humane members of society and their capacity for intimacy in all its forms. It also explains how this information relates to various topics, such as friends, mothers and sons, fathers and sons, drug and alcohol use, depression, violence, sexuality and relationships. I bought it a few months after my son was born and I have read it 3 times now. I plan on reading it every year, just to remind myself of the important principles outlined in it. Not only is it helping me understand and better respond to my son, it has helped me understand my husband, father, brothers, in-laws, etc. I find I can accept and respect male differences and needs better now that I understand what it means to grow up male in American society.
|
|
|
